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Wow, my last post was 2 months ago. I didn't even blog about Christmas, and I didn't for CNY either. X'mas was spent in Bangkok so there isn't anything to talk about, but oh, thai food is simply fingerlicking goooooooooooood.

And for ChuXi, mum dad &me headed to gramps house for reunion dinner, and the night ended off with sibling rivalry. tbh it's the first time I've seen my family quarreling on such a scale, I got scared and cried, not in the sense of being scared la, but probably cause gramps was upset when my aunts started shouting at each other &she cried, pleading for them to stop. an fragile elder pleading for them to stop, yet they didn't give a damn, then my cousin decides to join in by hurling vulgarities.

The two aunts left it hanging there, one left and the rest of us ended the night hugging and apologising.

Pictures of 初一

Now she takes like hours to warm up to us. But still a sweetheart ❤

The nxt time I'll blog will probably be after exams, in May! Prelims are like less than 1 month away, doom is imminent :(

I don't know why I'm writing this. Maybe life suddenly sets me thinking...

Was just wondering about why Singaporeans love migrating to other countries when our little red dot is so vibrant and awesome (in my POV). Why pple say they love Singapore and yet move to somewhere across the globe.

It's too fast paced here. You start early, going through 6 years of compulsory education, and although the nxt few years are not neccessary, you make it a "must" to move up cause it's what defines who you really are cause others will look at you and criticise you for being uneducated. Then you fight for a place in university, because that's what everyone does, you're just keeping up with them. You want to be able to hold a conversation with them, not being one who gets left out on every topic that's being discussed. Cause the truth is, what pple look at, is your level of education, no matter how hard you try to deny.

Then you move on to your most important and stressful, and unfortunately, the largest portion of your life, work. Yet again, education is involved. Your qualification's what matters most. W/o it, your colleagues and employers look down on you, and every single thing you do spites them. When you head home, you head to bed thinking that everything that happened today will happen again tmr. It's a vicious cycle.

Life is like that. What you decide to do has it's consequences and often, you're either not in the right position to make things right, or you don't have the ability to do so.

And probably cause of the people around. It's tiring having to keep up with appearances. It's tiring to put a smile on your face when you so obviously dislike that person and act like you're okay being around them. It's like how comedians are expected to make you laugh, even when they're not obliged to do so. It gets stressful and overtime, you lost interest in it, and ultimately give up.

So if one day I'm tired of life here, I'll pack my bags, pen a few letters, and head to somewhere not like this stressful country. Maybe somewhere with more greenery and lesser pple. I already have that place in mind, it's beautiful and quiet :) But I don't think I'll stay there forever, I might come back someday cause I'll still miss Singapore a lot.

This is yet another k-pop dedicated post so if y'all can't stand (crazy)fangirls then I would suggest not reading it.

I was just reminiscing the past, watching videos about HanChul's (heechul/hangeng) friendship. And then I just got so overwhelmed that I started crying. Just kept thinking whether all this time after he left, did he ever contacted any of them? If he didn't I totally understand, he feels guilty for leaving, w/o even telling them, they probably had a lot of resentment towards him.

But for heechul I guess the hurt's a whole lot more. But of course as a friend you wouldn't want him to suffer in silence right (put yourself in his shoes), but to let him leave, and carve his own career, as a solo artist, elsewhere.

I sometimes can't help but to regret my decision of supporting Geng leaving/sueing his company. because I really, really don't want him to leave. But we all know it's for his best, if the company still refuses to give him what he needs (rest, breaks, what he rightfully deserves), then we will stand up for him. And I know it's really selfish of me now, to want him to return to Super Junior, but things are never going to be the same...

Geng promised that if given the opportunity he'll stand up there and perform with them again, I'll be waiting for that day to arrive, no matter how long it takes. Because w/o the 13 of them, the stage will never be complete.

Pple around me just keep asking why am I so obsessed with kpop to a such a state where I cry over stories like these, but I would just say,

If you're not a fan, you'll never understand.

Now, I never waste time explaining to them because no matter how much I say, it's never gonna get to them (not being offensive but it's true).

If you read through this post, you must be a fellow fan like me, I say, let's stick it out till the end :)

I'm not in a good mood now, neither am I in a bad one. I don't know, I just feel restless. WHY OH WHY.

I seriously think I might have some issues sometimes. Maybe it's just a characteristic of a Virgoan:

It might be that I'm schizophrenic. Goodnight.